Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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