just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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