Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
