ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
