I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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