dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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