sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
