She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
