he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
