All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
