Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
