hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Umm I'm too high to move.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Randomize
