do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
