If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
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