How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
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