are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Randomize
