haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
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