The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
