We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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