A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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