Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
it's like iHOP with fire
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
