You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
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