All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
