Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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