I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
