She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
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