Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
