This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
