I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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