Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
