Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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