:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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