Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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