am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
