why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize