hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
