His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
