I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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