What a fucking waste of an outfit
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
