Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
