I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize