Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
