I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
