I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
