Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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