if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
