You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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