Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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