i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
