Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize