remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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