Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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