gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
