I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
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He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
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Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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