my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I think your dad took our porno
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
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