Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
