dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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