How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
