I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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