I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
