There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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