thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
