if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
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