When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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