good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
