If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
