I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
