Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
