the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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